Mark Twain

Be careful of reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Mark Twain is certainly one of the inspirations behind my writing. I love his wit, humor and even his dark cynicism that many people today would find completely unacceptable. Even though I am over 1/4 Native American, I find his overt hatred of 'Indians' understandable considering the time in which he lived. His disdain for religion and God was also understandable even though I consider myself a devout believer. I believe one of his best dislikes was his intolerance of all things French. He didn't like the French, but in light of recent developments in the political world, I believe he might find some support for his opinions of our French allies. I wonder what he would think of them now? I wonder what he would think of America now? Would he recognize it at all or would he think he'd died and gone to France? I wonder what acid remarks he might have rebuked his detractors with? While my sainted grandmother was born with French as her native language, I can only say that I had always thought myself part French, but then I read the history of the Cajun/Acadian peoples and learned that they probably weren't French at all and were actually cast out of France before they were cast out of Nova Scotia (formerly known as Acadia). Then they were kicked out of New York by the 'Americans' and finally set down in the swamps of Louisiana (French again!) A strange story, but well, there it is and so that leads me back to my original thought of the day. What would Mark Twain have said to my French reviewer who saw fit to give me a one star rating on Amazon? I think he would have said something scrumptious, but then I thought "Hey! The thing speaks for itself!" The review is on The Red Cross of Gold II:. The King of Terrors. At first, it may not be evident why I would be laughing over it, but then consider this... Why would he buy the second book if the first book was so disgusting? Isn't that like saying "Hey, this spaghetti is awful! Give me another plate full so I can make sure." D'oh!!! LOL.

Yummy!!! The Bittersweet Story

Today, January 19, 2010 marks the bittersweet end of the 2010/2009 Nog Season or Season of Nog. The last jug of Nog in my refrigerator will be consumed and shared by members of the household today in a poignant ceremony that will mark the beginning of the long fast between now and the next Nogfest. Fortunately for me, there will be only two participants today... myself and the Puglet. Of course, she will not be having the spiked variety even though she will have the honor of pulling the cork from the Captain Morgan's Private Stock. I alone will indulge in the honorary drinking of the CMPSw/Nog.
Again, fortune favors the foolish. When I was researching the various magickal rituals needed for my Red Cross of Gold Series, I learned many, many interesting things about the mystical religions of the world including, but not limited to, the practice of Wiccan Arts. I almost gave up my Neo-Natural Religious beliefs to join the Wiccan Movement when I learned that they celebrate the Spring Equinox by drinking Egg Nog! Since there are no commmercial brands available in stores at that time of year, several recipes were offered on the various sites I visited. I tried a few of them and found them not only easy to make, but delicious and yummy as well. Again, I was elated to be American! Only in America can we pick and choose what parts and portions of the various religions we might wish to practice without fear of stoning, beheading, whipping, drowning, shooting, shunning and/or any number of other less than welcome practices. I have since added an additional Nog Season to my own Neo-Natural Religious customs in the form of a Spring Equinox celebration that includes lots of homemade Nog, Captain Morgan's and crazy, fun-shaped straws. Of course, Puglet cannot drink from a straw, but she can pull the cork form the Private Stock like an expert even though I do not allow her to imbibe. She doesn't care, she simply laps up the Egg Nog from her special Nog Dish... hey! I wonder if Nogdog likes Egg Nog? Anyway, I will begin the countdown to Easter and the Spring Equinox tonight at midnight.

Big Surf/Tough Turf

Over the holidays, I thought I might take in some sights, see a few shows, watch a few movies, do something different. So I took myself off to the beach to see if I might perhaps meet some new people, gain some new insight, collect my thoughts, and OK, all right, maybe meet some new girls or ladies as the case may be or might have been.

I purchased the latest fashionable swimsuit available, Dolce & Gabbana, that's Eye-talian and I got a good deal, too, because they were 2009's line and were marked down from $395.00 to $285.00. How could I go wrong? The fellow at the store assured me that he had a pair of these trunks and he had picked up hundreds of good-looking women at the beach. His goal, however, had been to pick up two ladies at once and he'd not been able to do it... yet. So needless to say, I am proud to announce that I did indeed meet and I daresay exceed the salesman's goal. The two young ladies you see in the picture were all over me within minutes of my lying down on my sun-towel and slathering on a half of a bottle of PF 65 sunblocker (I like the pasty look as opposed to the roasted lobster pose). I highly recommend PF 650 PSI load-blocker sunscreen in the future.... if there is a future.

Red Roses

I can never decide whether I like yellow roses or red roses better for purposes of a romantic nature. But I saw this picture when I was browsing around on the web looking at possible illustrations for some of my upcoming works and I couldn't resist it in light of Valentine's Day coming up. Of course, I won't be able to use it on my February release for Omar, the Prophet since it would not be quite suitable for his story. Especially since he will be more likely viewed as a portrait of the Anti-Christ rather than a Knight in shining armor. But I'm thinking that somewhere I'll be able to use this picture on some future publication. What do you think?

My Good, Good Friends

Recently, I've had a bout of bad luck that even my therapist could not explain away. I attributed it to karma, bad luck and those little gray guys from UFO's, but nothing could assuage my fears and anxieties until I realized that I was not the only one with troubles. A very good friend of mine has been having terrible troubles at work, similar to my own, but even worse! She has been going in early, staying late and worrying that her job might be in jeopardy. At least, my day (night) job is not going anywhere. If anything, there could be even more job security for me in these trying times when we can expect more crime, more corruption and more people flocking to prison expecting free room and board. My friend's situation made mine look less troublesome. At least, I know I can depend on my job to remain steady until I choose to leave it.

Another friend of mine has also had some very trying problems both at work and at home. Trying to balance the home life, family and friends against a stressful job where co-workers have been making life harder than it should be for such a good-hearted person. Most of my own problems are self-inflicted. Not so, my friends' problems. It brings to mind the old adage about greener grass, wetter water and slimier slime (depending on what you might find desirable). I find myself reminiscing about happier times as the holidays converge on us, but were they truly happier times or simply times less fraught with responsibility and knowledge? Is it not very true that ignorance is bliss? The older we grow, the more we know, and the more we wish for simpler times when we were a bit more gullible, a bit more adventurous and a great deal less respsonsible.

Like the little hamster's wheel, we go round and round in endless cycles ever hopeful that our next cycle will bring happier days, more sunshine and laughter.

Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year. Drink a toast to me and I will remember you in my dreams of tomorrow.

Decisions, Decisions

A while back when gasoline prices were high (much like they are today), I was tempted to buy a motorcycle to drive to work. But caution and pictures like this one made me change my mind. I mean, if this is what motorcyclists have to expect, then hey! It's not for me. I've been away from my blogs for quite some time and thought I'd best get busy before I forget how to write these wonderful little blurbs. All is well, or at least as well as can be expected. Currently, I'm working on Book XVI: Omar the Prophet in the Red Cross of Gold Series.

I haven't had the time to do much editing lately what with all the exciting news on the TV distracting me. I mean how can I concentrate when Tiger Woods might be breaking up his marriage? Great Scot!! What will I do without Elin or Erin or Elaine or whatever as his wife? I'll have to make major adjustments.... tsk, tsk.

And then there's the money left over from our last greatest finanacial debacle in Washington. What to do... what to do... How should we rush out like idiots and spend all that money we didn't have to start with again?! Hmmmmmm.... let's see....

And then there's Global Warming. Geeshh, it was only a few months ago that the Russians were happy that the Artic ice-pack was melting. It would be good for shipping lanes that would open up between Russia and all that marshy, swampy former tundra up in northern Canada. Don't they realize that the Ice Road Truckers will be out of business and they won't be able to regale us with their witty, philosophical statements like "If that feller don't get the bleeeep, out of the bleeeeping bleep bleeper road, I'm gonna have to get ooot of my truck and kick his bleepity bleep bleep bleep!"

And what of the scandal about Human caused global warming? I mean really, how in the world is that people do not understand that everything is NOT "all about me! or us as the case may be"? Sorry, we just didn't create everything... that was God, I think. And besides, is it really such a secret that global warming causes (triggers) Ice Ages? Have we not been preparing our children for the upcoming big freeze by showing heart-warming cartoon movies about former Ice Ages where mammoths and saber-tooth cats become close buddies and pals? What can I say? What can I do?

All I can say is that I voted for the other guys. So shoot me. Next time I vote, I'm going to vote for the other guys again... I don't care who they are.

Prince of Persia

I heard from a dear friend that the Prince of Persia trailer looked extremely good or in her words "It was hot." or "He was hot." I'm assuming she meant the Prince. Anyhoo, I went to find it and discovered that it is 305 days before it premieres and the trailer was nowhere to be seen. I finally found it listed under New Zealand and went all the way there (cyberspacically) only to be told in a very unfriendly manner that the trailer was exclusively for New Zealanders. I felt totally confused and confounded by this obvious discrimination against the entire rest of the world!? So, I'm not good enough to watch a New Zealand trailer for a movie that's almost a year away from premier? Ha! I bounded back quickly and watched several different trailers that were not nearly as snippety as that one.

You may have noticed that I included one of my favorite fellows in this blog and if all goes according to my normal fate in this life, someone will report me and the picture will be pulled or I will be put in cyberjail or something.

Yes, Penguins of Madagascar contain some of my favorite people (err animals0. If all else fails to cheer me up, I can always turn to a DVR'd episode of the PoM and poof! I'm laughing. I'm happy. And nothing else matters. I'd like to say that "I liked them before I even knew them!"