Monday, December 14, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Its a pumpkin shaped bottle of Peach Mojito Mixer. Very funny and yummy. In keeping with the theme... Halloween... we had the Pumpkin Pancakes. Also yummy. We talked of many things important and non-important, but the main thing is that we talked and we had a good time. Now I have this pumpkin-shaped bottle full of mixer and every time I look at it, I am reminded of my good friend and IHOP pumpkin pancakes.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I like little things and I like to attribute human characteristics to animals. There is a fancy terminology for that, but I can't remember what it is now. The frog looks like he's smiling and waving. Makes you wonder.
I like little things. I have a lot of little things in my house and I'm always attracted to tiny little objects in shops and such. I fail to understand how we can manufature such little things, some of them so small we can't even see them. Nanotechnology it is called. I remember the first time I heard the word 'nano'. It was on an episode of Star Trek, but I don't remember which series. Some sort of nanites were attacking the ship and the crew. Of course, they were defeated, but I thought they were fascinating (pardon the pun). But now I'm off the subject completely.
The frog in the hat. This put me in a strange frame of mind when I saw it. "I has a hat". It made me realize for the first time that animals own nothing. They not only own nothing, they do not need to own anything. I've tried to imagine what that would be like to own absolutely nothing and I think it must equate to true freedom.
I heard something on the radio yesterday that a man called Lord Mountain or some such from England... one of the lesser nobility. Anyhoo, he was speaking about America and he said that our President is about to sign something that would end American Freedom forever. It has to do with Global Warming and Carbon Emissions. I listened to it with a feeling that things really are about to change forever. That things are always changing... forever changing. I changed the station and there I heard something equally disturbing. Our President has plans for regulating the Internet. Hmmmm. Regulating? Don't we have enough regulating now?
Let's change something back once in a while. Let's take a restriction off, I thought.
Then I looked on the internet news and saw something about Obama decriminalizing marijuana. I didn't even read it.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Attention Kindle Indie authors!! Godzilla has been making plans to steal all of the really good books on Kindle since Amazon went International. The above picture was taken by my parrot, Polly, after she infiltrated a top secret meeting in Japan only a few hours ago. My good friend, Maureen Miller, had become a victim of this dastardly plot, but Polly assures me that she will soon be grasping Widow's Tale in her claws and winging her way home with it.
The rest of you... beware! Of course, I'd be willing to rent out Polly for a small fee... just sayin'!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Oh, I forgot to tell you what the word was, didn't I?
HAS ANYONE SEEN PUGLET (pictured above)? SHE DISAPPEARED ON OCTOBER 6, JUST AFTER I OPENED MY PRESENTS. (I think she was jealous.)
I know that I'm late posting about all the wonderful birthday wishes I received from people who really don't know how old I really am. Thank you to all my fans and readers and even to those persons who are pea-green with jealousy whenever my name is mentioned, but who sucked up with everyone else and wished me Birthday Greetings simply to be coooooooooooooool. I was thrilled by all the attention, truly I was, but I wanted to share something with those who really care about me: A picture of the best birthday gift I've ever received.
The above gift was a special delivery and what a surprise!! I abosolutely adore my new pet. Of course, I can't go in the backyard as often I used to and I'm still looking for Puglet. I think she got jealous and ran away. Yesterday, I actually taught my new parrot to speak a word.
(As you all know, parrots learn to speak many words through hearing it repititiously) Anyway you can imagine how proud I am of teaching my parrot, whom I've named Polly, her first word in such a short time. I've only had her for 3 days now. As soon as the shark cage arrives, I plan to spend much more time with her in the afternoons. The neighbors (the ones who still live nearby) say that they feel a lot safer with Polly around. She's much better than any watchdog I've ever had (I wonder where Puglet's gotten off to?) She doesn't make a lot of noise, but she sure puts the fear into those pesky would-be burglars, meter readers, mail carriers, sales reps, Girl Scouts, bike riders, street sweepers and joggers. I haven't seen any of them around lately and the street I live on is much more peaceful which is good for my new night shift job.
Thanks again, Miss Miller, for the new parrot! I love you! Brendan
The first week at the new job has passed without incident largely due to the above sign which was posted in the lobby. When I first saw the sign painted at eye-level near the main entrance door, I thought "Well, duh!!". I don't know why this sign is not posted everywhere! Just think of all the injuries that could be avoided by the simple posting of one sign.
I know, I know... paint is expensive, but honestly, I believe that employees everywhere would be willing to put a little in the kitty to buy a can of red spray paint, some magic markers and a stencil kit for Pete's sake.
How many times have I completely bombed out when falling on rough or wet surfaces and how many times could I have been spared fractures, concussions and wrenched or torn ligaments, tendons and muscles due to sheer ignorance? A little ingenuity could have saved me tons of money, years of therapy and a boatload of embarrassment had I but known to fall carefully.
Think about it, people. Be safe. Live long and prosper: Fall Carefully.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Well, yes, people around here take their goats very seriously and it seems that everyone around either owns goats, used to own goats, is thinking of buying some goats or lives next door to someone who owns goats. I've learned some interesting things about goats simply by association. For instance, goats normally graze in one direction even moreso than cattle. I mean they all point in the same direction when they graze. Goats invented the old adage: The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence. Goats like to walk single-file if possible. Goats are not afraid of heights. Goats will eat trees. Goats DO NOT eat tin cans (that is an urban legend or else only urban goats eat tin cans, not country goats).
You have to hold your mouth just right to talk about goats. You have to pronounce the word just right or else everyone will know that 'you ain't from round these parts, are ye?'
One of the most alarming things I learned about owning goats came from the lady who works at the cleaners. You see, she owns gotes. You got say gotes real fast and make it sound sort of heavy and clipped somehow to get the inflection right. Anyhow, she went out one day and found 15 of her goats dead! Just keeled over dead in the field. Now, why would your goats just keel over dead in the field? Well, she didn't know. Gotes are just like that, you see? You'll just walk out and there they'll be: dead!
Now, I don't know about you, but if fifteen of my goats just up and died, I'd be curious about what kilt 'em. I'd have to say "Hey! Why're my gotes dead?! What th'bleep?!"
But I queried several goat owners and learned that this is not unusual, that goats just up and die, that it's to be expected. I just cannot accept that! If ever I do own a goat, I'm going to make sure that if I do find him dead (or her) and it's not immediately evident that he/she was not the victim of alien mutilation, I shall take the remains to Texas A & M and say "Hey! What th' bleep happened to this here gote?!" I gotta know.
This is what I do best especially when the world becomes too much to handle. It's hard losing all three friends in the space of one week. It is beyond the mind's capability to comprehend or fully absorb, but the rain is good for washing away the mental pollution that comes from too much thinking.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Some days are just like that. You're minding your own business when... ZAP! Someone takes advantage of you when you least expect it. Of course, I may be jumping the old proverbial gun, but here I was sitting fat, dumb and happy, thinking that my transfer is going to take place on Wednesday and I would no longer be plagued by the rigors and woes of being the so-called 'Boss'. Looking forward to being one of the Indians for a while instead of the Chief of the Dumb Fuck Tribe. Contemplating the benefits of being Cheetah as opposed to being Tarzan. Glorying in the satisfaction of donning Tonto's feathers in favor of mounting up on Silver. But then someone, whom I will not name, put a tiny measure... a teeny-weeny quantum bit of doubt in my mind and my beautiful Sunday afternoon is completely spoiled! What if they don't let me transfer on the first? What if they 'make' me stay on as boss for another month? What if they try to coerce me into taking charge of the upcoming fiasco planned for October (my favorite month of the year!)? What if?! What if?!
They could do it, you know. They could. They are in control. They represent the government! Who can oppose the government?
I should have known I'd lost it when the Big Boss asked a question during his first Department Head meeting after taking over his position. He looked around, smiled and asked "How many of you are in favor of Obama's Stimulus Package?" Everyone smiled like idiots, nodded and then looked confused (what stimulus package? they were asking themselves. Who is Obama?) Did I mention my co-workers are all idiots who watch Simpson re-runs when the news is on? Anyway, I thought he wanted an answer. Little did I know that it was a rhetorical question. Most of my co-workers don't know what rhetorical means either. So I answered him with a counter-question: "What about the 9000 pieces of pork included in the Stimulus Package?" He answered with a frown and then ignored me and began to tell us just how wonderful Obama's package was and what it meant for the State of Texas!!!
If there is a God in Heaven, I will be leaving on the first. I've already figured out the names of all the people I won't ever have to see again. Don't let this happen to me!!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I didn’t get called in to work. And if that is not good enough, I was treated to a Saturday outing to one of my favorite local attractions: the Dr. Pepper bottling company in Dublin, Texas. Yes, it’s the oldest bottling company for sodas in the country going back to 1287, just after the Fall of Jerusalem to the Infidels. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it is old and the machinery is from the 1920’s.
I just realized yesterday that I had quit drinking Dr. Pepper exclusively in the early 1970’s. The tour guide said that Dr. Pepper stopped using Imperial Pure Cane sugar in 1973 when the Cuban Missile Crisis caused a sugar shortage. The Dublin plant, having been the original bottler, refused to use corn syrup and continues to this day to use Imperial Pure Can Sugar which is also made right here in Texas, a la the Imperial Sugar company after which Sugarland, Texas is named.
Anyway, the tour is awesome and then I had a Big Red Crème Soda (made with pure cane sugar straight from the soda fountain) float with Blue Bell Vanilla Ice Cream (another Texas exclusive: Blue Ice Cream). It was heavenly.
We then traveled on (which will come in another blog) before ending the day at Miss Lilley’s restaurant and Saloon in Hico, Texas which Is famous for its connections with the outlaw Billy, the Kid. It has also becoming a haven for bikers and bike clubbers. A beautiful hill country town well worth the trouble of searching for in the wilderness between the goats, the sheep and the longhorns. A great day!!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
So, I sat down and very carefully removed the paper, reluctant to see what might be written on it. In fact, I think I actually closed my eyes when I opened it.
You can imagine my surprise when I saw all the ink blots and splotches and paw prints… yes, that’s right… paw prints on the page. I looked around quickly and found a blotchy, black spot on the carpet and the remains of a Pilot-G2 C7 ballpoint pen… one of my favorite writing utensils.
I scanned quickly down the page and sure enough, just as I suspected, it was signed simply: the Pug.
It was not the first such letter I have received from the Pug. Oh, sure, you’re thinking that I’m imagining things. Pugs would never use a ballpoint pen to write a letter. I know it sounds incredible since Pugs normally use felt tip markers when they write, but my Pug is different. She writes with G2’s and then she proceeds to destroy them so that no one can ever use them again. Some kind of religious belief, I understand.
Anyway, she was lodging yet another complaint about the terms of our Master/Dog contract wherein she is required to get out of my chair when I come home. Normally, she jumps down and meets me at the door, barking, howling and making all sorts of common Pug noises in order to let me know that her bowl is empty, she wants to go outside and she needs a new treat to chew on. These issues are covered in Chapter Two, paragraph 3, subparagraph b wherein I am obliged to see to these needs before doing absolutely anything else up to and including putting down bags of groceries or other items I might be carrying at the time. (This sometimes gets a bit tricky and I would have negotiated a bit more leeway had I realized the magnitude of problems incident to compliance with subparagraph b.)
Never-the-less, subparagraph b was not her major concern. It was subparagraph a in paragraph 2 that had her in an uproar wherein she is required to vacate my chair when, in her opinion, prompt vacating is unnecessary since I must comply with paragraph 3, subparagraph b and thus ‘cheating’ her out of another three to four minutes chair-time. As I was eschewing her written complaint, I noticed that she was not in the room with me which was highly unusual. I got up and went in search of her, wishing to talk it over with her. I wanted to remind her that she could not comfortably point out her needs from my chair, which is nowhere close to the door I use when I come home, nor can she run outside through the patio doors if she is sitting in my chair.
I looked for her in the bedroom, the bathroom, the spare bedroom and the kitchen. I even went outside and checked the backyard in mounting panic, thinking that perhaps I had left her outside while I was gone.
Strange, I thought. Where could she be? I went back to my bedroom and walked around the bed. There to my horror was my favorite feather pillow, disemboweled and flat on the floor. Feathers were everywhere!
Suspicious of foul play, I turned slowly and looked at my bed. The spread appeared unruffled. Cautiously, I reached out and placed my hand on the lump where my feather pillow should have been and what do you think I found?
Nope, not the Pug! It was the neighbor’s cat! My pug was hiding in the linen closet. Turned out that the Pug had paid the kitty to impersonate the pillow in a bid to trick me. Furthermore, the letter was nothing more than a ruse, a first strike employed in an effort to distract me.
Well, needless to say, the Pug spent the night in the linen closet while the kitty pretended to be my pillow. It was a bit touch and go at first, but once I had the pillow sham over her head, it was all down hill.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Well, Miss Miller's post about Allagash prompted this post as well. She thought it was disturbing to be posting a picture of Allagash beer at 8:00 AM. OK, so it's barely noon and I'm not just posting a picture of Mojito, I'm drinking it from my favorite Shrek glass and enjoying the hell out of it. Of course, if you consider that I've been up since 2:00 AM, having been conscripted to run the early, early morning or late, late night shift... take your pick, whilst someone else is off enjoying their vacation... well, then, maybe it's not quite so bad.
The ride in this morning was quite eventful. I saw two deer, a skunk, a raccoon and an unidentified flying object and that was in my driveway! LOL! The moon was beautiful, of course, and the deer were feeding... in the middle of the road! The skunk was just strutting by with her tail up and the cows were all asleep. There were numerous bats and mysterious insects flitting around in the headlights and the bridge was quite lovely in the moonlight. The morning shift went quite well and everyone was happy when someone made us a watermelon basket with little heart-shaped pieces of watermelon in it. Another laugh considering the environment.
All in all, I was happy to get home alive this morning about 11:00 AM and anxious to get back to my real occupation, writing and trying to promote my work. I uploaded book number four to Smashwords this morning and was quite pleased with my success in spite of the Shrek glass to my immediate right.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Mxxx Nxxxx, 44, of (Town), was taken to XXXX Medical Center on Thursday morning, the St. Petersburg Times reported. He was suffering from shortness of breath and irritated lungs and eyes.
(Mr. N) created a chlorine gas cloud when he combined bleach and an ammonia-based product to "make a stronger bathroom cleaner," (Town)Fire and Rescue spokesman (Lt. X) told the paper.
Fire and hazardous materials teams were called to (Mr. N's) home. They ventilated the home and scrubbed the walls.
Chlorine gas has been used as a weapon of mass destruction and exposure to it can cause severe illness or death. Authorities warn consumers never to mix bleach and ammonia when using cleaning products.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
I just got my latest release up and running on Amazon Kindle book store. Unfortunately, I've been unable to pin the link to my link list on my blog page so I've pinned it on the bottom of this post. The Red Cross of Gold XI:. Ars Arabia is the latest adventure of the Chevalier du Morte, poor Knight of Solomon's Temple as he goes up against a powerful Djinn creature in the desert mountains of Arabia. He risks life and limb to preserve the Order of the Red Cross of Gold while his Brothers plot to assassinate him. Not only do they want to get rid of the Knight of Death, they want to do away with his lady, Miss Meredith and their children. The Brothers are torn between their age old loyalty to the Grand Master and their newfound respect for Mark Andrew. It is a game of wits, magick and mystery mixed with a little humor and a lot of intrigue.