Saturday, February 19, 2011

Oh yeah? Well, I have a gun!

I just heard a news report about a guy who walked into a pharmacy and demanded drugs. He said "I have a bomb!" to which the pharmacist replied "I have a gun!" The would be robber left.

Immediately, I thought what if?

A man walks into a bank and says to the teller "Give me all your money. I have a rock!"

To which she replies "Oh, yeah? Well, I have paper!"

To which he replies "Oh, yeah? Well, I have scissors!" He lays the rock on the counter.

To which she replies "Oh, yeah? Well, I have a rock!" And then she grabs the rock, bashes him over the head and sounds the alarm.

What is it with criminals these days? No, no! What is it with people these days? It seems that incompetence reigns supreme from the top to the bottom of society. Imagine a would-be criminal putting up his/her resume on Monster, looking for a job as a robber. Now, the potential employee is sitting back, waiting for the job offers to roll in. But nooooooo, this applicant receives a terse email from Monster stating that there are currently no openings that match their qualifications. These people are not even qualified to be CRIMINALS.

Believe me when I say that this is not far from the truth. If you don't believe me, watch a few episodes of "World's Dumbest Criminals". I have met one of the people portrayed on the series... I believe I've met examples of everyone of them at one time or another during my career as a prison official.

Just an afterthought: You think criminals are dumb? You've heard jokes about them? Yes, but to what do we attribute this?

In a popular grocery store yesterday I saw a tag under a shelf of canned soups:

2 for $4.00 or $1.78 a can

Today I received a flyer in the mail from the same store and an ad read:

5 for $5 Chicken Breast (limit 2 packages with an additional purchase of $10.00)

So, it is no wonder the teachers are on strike in Wisconsin. They need more money so they can teach less to more students for more money than would-be criminals can ever steal unless they go to work writing ads for supermarkets.... well, duh!

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