Sunday, September 27, 2009
Yeah! Some Days Are Just Like That!!
Some days are just like that. You're minding your own business when... ZAP! Someone takes advantage of you when you least expect it. Of course, I may be jumping the old proverbial gun, but here I was sitting fat, dumb and happy, thinking that my transfer is going to take place on Wednesday and I would no longer be plagued by the rigors and woes of being the so-called 'Boss'. Looking forward to being one of the Indians for a while instead of the Chief of the Dumb Fuck Tribe. Contemplating the benefits of being Cheetah as opposed to being Tarzan. Glorying in the satisfaction of donning Tonto's feathers in favor of mounting up on Silver. But then someone, whom I will not name, put a tiny measure... a teeny-weeny quantum bit of doubt in my mind and my beautiful Sunday afternoon is completely spoiled! What if they don't let me transfer on the first? What if they 'make' me stay on as boss for another month? What if they try to coerce me into taking charge of the upcoming fiasco planned for October (my favorite month of the year!)? What if?! What if?!
They could do it, you know. They could. They are in control. They represent the government! Who can oppose the government?
I should have known I'd lost it when the Big Boss asked a question during his first Department Head meeting after taking over his position. He looked around, smiled and asked "How many of you are in favor of Obama's Stimulus Package?" Everyone smiled like idiots, nodded and then looked confused (what stimulus package? they were asking themselves. Who is Obama?) Did I mention my co-workers are all idiots who watch Simpson re-runs when the news is on? Anyway, I thought he wanted an answer. Little did I know that it was a rhetorical question. Most of my co-workers don't know what rhetorical means either. So I answered him with a counter-question: "What about the 9000 pieces of pork included in the Stimulus Package?" He answered with a frown and then ignored me and began to tell us just how wonderful Obama's package was and what it meant for the State of Texas!!!
If there is a God in Heaven, I will be leaving on the first. I've already figured out the names of all the people I won't ever have to see again. Don't let this happen to me!!